Everything insane about the 2026 FIFA World Cup, ranked
Don't worry, there's only one mention of Alexi Lalas
Th 2026 FIFA World Cup will certainly be the most lucrative World Cup ever, but will it be the most memorable? Or the greatest? I’m not sure yet. There are still three games left. They are chalk, though, with the semifinals featuring the top-four national teams in FIFA’s world rankings. That’s not a bad thing, but the wackiness of the World Cup has been negatively correlated with the amount of teams remaining. We have gotten a more mature, predictable event as the rounds progressed. Can it be the group stage forever? With a tear rolling down my cheek, I list below ten insane World Cup moments.
10. Alexi Lalas references his genitals on air.
I am no puritan, and I accept the adage that all publicity is good publicity. But it’s inexplicable that Fox insists not only on Alexi Lalas’ employment but also on his star turn during this World Cup. As a pundit, Lalas is not insightful. As a persona, he is neither funny nor charming. His takes are bad, and not in a fun way. He lacks stature, and his presence is very easily one of the worst things about the tournament. So when Lalas referenced his “nether regions” on air, we were all Thierry Henry.
9. Gianni Infantino travels to every match with one thing in mind.
ESPN provides a game-by-game account of FIFA president Gianni Infantino’s 50,000-mile World Cup journey. The BBC tries to hold FIFA to account for its environmental commitments. Simply Flying takes an aviation nerd’s approach to Infantino’s travels. In part because FIFA refuses to answer substantive questions, no publication gets at why Infantino felt compelled to attend so many of the World Cup’s 104 matches.
It could be a childish gimmick. He loves football so much he wants to use his position to see as much it as possible. His Instagram is full of such enthusiasm. It could be a professional reward. The World Cup is FIFA’s main product and one of the biggest sporting events on the planet. He wants to revel in what he created.
Infantino only cares about power, though, and next year he is standing for reelection as FIFA’s president. FIFA’s governing body adheres to “one country, one vote.” Getting to as many World Cup games as possible, even one as obscure as Curaçao-Ivory Coast, allows Infantino to get face time with the football executives who cast those votes. With a big smile and a firm handshake, he reminds them how successful the 2026 World Cup has been. This is to say Infantino reminds those football executives how much money FIFA will be sending to their country’s football federations. He gets to do this via a private jet on FIFA’s dime.
It’s called the advantage of incumbency, and Infantino has milked it for all its worth.
8. Uruguay manager Marcelo Bielsa loses his mind.
Football fans of a certain age consider now-former Uruguay manager Marcelo Bielsa a legend. In 2020, for example, The Athletic published a lengthy story called, “Guardiola and Bielsa, the love story.” I view Bielsa as a petulant sore loser who gets away with poor behavior because of his status.
Firstly, Bielsa refused to look at the camera for the tournament’s profile picture because he’s “not a model.” I have no idea what that means, nor does anyone else, because, Bielsa said, "There are no explanations for me to give." Then he exploded and glared at reporters at during a postgame interview. Then he gave an unhinged resignation during an hour-and-a-half press conference.
Uruguay played like crap in the World Cup and were deservedly bounced in the group stage. After seeing the antics of their manager, it’s little wonder why.
7. Mexico manager Javier Aguirre shares his thoughts on Anthony Gordon.
England won an epic Round of 16 game against Mexico at Mexico City’s Azteca Stadium, a notoriously difficult place to play. England did it playing for 30 minutes down a man. Jude Bellingham was an all-around force. But possibly the best moment and certainly the funniest was when, near the end of the game, Mexico manager Javier Aguirre spotted England winger Anthony Gordon near the touchline and called out to him.
In a world full of Bielsa’s, be an Aguirre.
6. Tartan Army takes over a Miami Marlins game.
It’s difficult to choose a moment to highlight for Scotland’s Tartan Army. Is it drinking all the beer in Boston? Is it singing “Sweet Caroline” at a baseball game for which they didn’t understand the rules? Is it introducing Americans to placing traffic cones on statues?
This all endeared Scottish fans to us Americans, but my favorite moment is when, while visiting Miami for the Brazil-Scotland game, the Tartan Army turned a Marlins game into a party. They made a Marlins game fun. American baseball fans know how much of a feat that is.
5. South Korea manager Hong Myung-bo enters witness protection.
“When favoritism and cronyism take precedence over competence in selecting a commander, the result is as predictable as fire burning paper,” South Korea president Lee Jae Myung wrote in an X post on June 28. “I am deeply sorry for causing such profound disappointment to the public over this absurd affair.”
You would think he was talking about a careless military officer causing an international incident with neighboring North Korea. But no. He was talking about South Korea manager Hong Myung-bo leading his team to just three points in the group stage and getting eliminated from the World Cup.
It was reported that, with the South Korean public so angry at him, Hong was blurred out in a news piece back home. That turned out to be not true, but the vitriolic response to the South Korea’s collapse made it believable. In the US, failed national team coaches take over MLS team. In Korea, they're stuffed in a trash can and thrown in a compactor. I’m not sure which fate is worse.
4. US Department of Homeland Security secretary gloats over Iran’s exit.
Before the World Cup, I wrote about the US’s failure to act like a decent and proper host. For better or worse, the politics of immigration and travel visas receded to the background once the games started. Except the US government continued to pick on the Iran national team.
The Iranians had to relocate their training operation across the border to Tijuana. Following games in the US, they were was forced to immediately return to Mexico. Markwayne Mullin, the secretary of th US Department of Homeland Security, celebrated when Iran exited the tournament.
“I’m just glad they’re done, and they’re not coming back,” Mullin said. “I was so happy when we were able to pull their visas and said they could leave U.S. soil, and I might have sung a song or two, or maybe danced a happy dance.”
His is an embarrassing stance. I would use ‘shameful,’ too, but the men of the MAGA-verse have inured themselves to shame. The Trump administration will almost certainly take credit for the success of the 2026 World Cup, but the tournament’s greatness lies instead with the people who have not foreclosed on humanity.
3. Disallowed Egypt goal pushes football fans towards the Neo-Luddite movement.
Amid the proliferation of artificial intelligence, Flock cameras, and digital screens, an anti-technology movement is growing. School districts are one-by-one banning cell phones in classrooms. Data centers are the latest cause célèbre for NIMBYs. And football fans everywhere are calling for the abolishment of VAR, or video assistant referee. Okay, maybe I’m overstating that one, but a disallowed Egypt goal in an eventual Round of 16 loss against Argentina is one of the World Cup’s many VAR controversies.
The politics of replay review is something I’ve wanted to write about about, so I’ll refrain from a larger diatribe here, but the gist is: I don’t think replay review makes a game better. It makes it different. It changes what we are watching and how we think about it. We often conflate facts with truth, and in the rapid adoption of various technologies we have never reconciled that psychological distinction.
Following this logic, it’s worth wondering if the World Cup is better because, in the narrowest sense possible, the correct call was made against Egypt. Was there a foul in the build-up to the goal? Sure, fine. So it’s true that, ultimately, Argentina was the better team and a worthy winner? Almost certainly not.
2. Cabo Verde makes everything better.
A. Vozinha stands on his head against Spain.
We should have known Cabo Verde was legit when a Vohinza saved seven shots against eventual semifinalists Spain. Let this be a lesson. MLS is truly bad. (Cabo Verde keeper CJ dos Santos appeared in 30 games for San Diego FC’s magical inaugural 2025 season, and for Cabo Verde’s starting spot he could not beat out a 40-year-old playing in Portugal’s second division.)
B. Sidny Lopes Cabral misses an ‘e’ but not the net.
I half-watched the Cabo Verde-Argentina Round of 32 game alone at home. There was no need to make plans for a blowout. Then Cabo Verde defender Sidny Lopes Cabral went top bins to tie the match in extra time against Argentina. I involuntarily jumped off the couch and yelled “Holy shit!”
I had no idea who Lopes Cabral was. I bet he’d make that shot once if given 100 tries. But that one time came against world champions Argentina in a knockout game of the World Cup. Let this be a lesson. Always, always make plans to watch the World Cup.
1. The US men’s national team makes everything worse.
A. US manager Mauricio Pochettino packs one shirt.
Killian Mbappe has been the dictator this World Cup, but during the US’s run manager Mauricio Pochettino wore a shirt out of Kim Jong-Un’s closest. I assume the brand-less and militant style was supposed to do many things at once: impose discipline and exude leadership, streamline his packing, and hide his softening dad bod. But when something is supposed to do a little bit of everything, then it is great at nothing. Just like the team he coached.
B. US plays its JV team against Türkiye, loses game and vibes
We should have known this US team was going nowhere when, against Türkiye, Pochettino started only one regular in Weston McKennie, took a loss, and then refused to take accountability for that loss. As my close personal friend Herm Edwards once said:
C. Forward Folarin Balogun gets the Red Card Heard Around the World.
Without comment, I present to you President Trump’s verbatim comments following the unprecedented reversal of a red card shown to USMNT star Folarin Balogun:
So I saw the play, and I’m a person that loves sports—I was a good athlete—and I understand sports really well, really well. And that wasn’t a foul, he didn’t do anything wrong. And he’s our best player or one of our best players. He’s a very vital player, and he gave him a red card. I didn’t know what that means, I didn’t think that meant much. Then I started hearing that means he can’t play in the next game, at least in the next game. And I said, ‘Boy, that’s a big.’ If it happened to another player, it would have been unfair, but when they take your best player or just about—they have some great players—and they say you can’t play, that’s very unfair. I think it’s a terrible. If they wouldn’t allow a top player, maybe the best, maybe among the best players on the team, to play, I think it would have a big stain. And you want to see a game with your best players. You don’t want to say, ‘How would you feel if I took uh, uh, you know, we take Messi out. He ran into some body, or we took Ronaldo. Ronaldo, you bumped into somebody. We’re going to take you out of a game. He’s great. Or Harry Kane. Harry Kane, we’re going to take you out of the game, Harry, because you happened to hit somebody a little bit harder then.’ You can’t do that. If you would have taken him out—I think, I think, I think it would have really stained this incredible championship. We need to have our best players, and they’ve got—Belgium’s got a great team, by the way. We have our best players, and they need to have their best players. And if we win or we lose, it’s fair. Otherwise, let’s say we lost him and we lose the game. It would be a terrible thing. So, I think they made a really brilliant decision. I think the referee’s call was horrible… All I did, all I did, I asked for a review because I didn’t think it was a foul. And, you know, again, I’m good at this stuff. I didn’t think it was a foul. I thought it was two great athletes who crashed into each other and got entangled. That was not, uh, that was not a guy punching somebody in the face or anything. And this referee, who is a little bit suspect, if you check his, if you check his past. I don’t want to say that because I don’t like to create controversy, but very suspect. And if you’d like, I’ll provide you with the past. He made a call that nobody would believe. You know, even people on the other side. They said, ‘Oh, we got lucky.’
D. Goalkeeper Matt Freese and defender Tim Ream team up for ignominious history.
The US men’s national team had young, recognizable stars, accomplished players in the world’s best leagues, and some encouraging early-tournament results. Of course, they were playing on home soil, and if they could get past an aging and unconvincing Belgium squad in the Round of 16, then the US had a viable path to the semis. Ultimately, the game would turn out to be the most-watched soccer game in American history.
Considering the circumstances, the goal that keeper Matt Freese and defender Tim Ream allowed—with the US down 2-1 and after the team finally showed some life— might be the single most pathetic moment in US soccer history. The lack of high-end talent, the lack of depth, the lack of focus and commitment—all of our soccer failures were embodied in that sequence.
E. Pulisic can rest now.
“Now, I get time to rest, so it’ll be okay.”
This would be the epitaph of the 2026 USMNT, and they were spoken by its biggest star after getting pummeled in the biggest game in US men’s soccer history. I could rant about Pusilic and the soccer development model in the US, but I already did.
So I will keep it brief: MAGA’s carrying on about cancel culture and immigrants and everything else is a projection of their insecurities about themselves and their place in the world. Greatness starts with acceptance of the truth, but that’s uncomfortable, so MAGAs blame others and play the victim to preserve their social and economic status. And make no mistake. Pusilic is a certified MAGA. It is loser behavior that results in losing, and I’m so tired of the act.